Rain lashed against the window of the small café in town. John sat in the corner, clutching a warm cup of coffee. The clock on the wall showed twenty past seven. His friend Liam was late. Again.
This meeting marked their fifth catch-up in two months. Every time they met, the conversation followed the exact same pattern. Liam talked about his desire to follow Jesus. He shared his dreams of serving the church and changing his community. Then, with his head lowered and a quiet voice, he confessed to the same old habit that had tripped him up the previous week.
Ian saw Liam walk through the door. Liam shook the water from his coat. His shoulders were hunched with shame. He looked defeated before they even spoke.
In that moment, a voice in John’s head whispered a dangerous thought. You waste your time here. Liam doesn’t change. You could spend this evening with someone who actually wants to grow.
That whisper represents the great temptation of our age. We live in a world of instant gratification. We order food with a tap on a screen. We stream entire television series in a single weekend. We expect our spiritual growth, and the growth of the people we mentor, to follow the same rapid timeline.
We want microwave disciples. We want to place a new believer in a six-week programme and see a mature leader emerge by the end.
Real life doesn’t work that way. The Kingdom of God doesn’t work that way.
John took a deep breath. He silenced the whisper in his mind. When Liam sat down, John didn’t lecture him. He didn’t give him a five-step plan to fix his life by Friday. John simply smiled, pushed a warm, toasted teacake towards Liam, and asked him to share about his week. John committed to staying for as long as Liam needed.
That evening, they didn’t find a quick fix. They took one small step forward. They chose to run the marathon.
The Microwave Trap
Our modern culture trains us to hate waiting. We see waiting as a sign of failure. If a webpage takes more than three seconds to load, we close the tab. If we don’t see immediate results from our diet, we quit the gym.
This impatience leaks into our churches and our ministries. We measure the success of our discipleship by numbers, speed, and immediate fruit. We want to see instant transformations. We want the people we mentor to abandon their old habits overnight.
When people struggle, we grow frustrated. We assume they lack commitment. We assume they don’t truly love God.
This attitude reveals a deep misunderstanding of human nature and spiritual growth. True discipleship isn’t a sprint. It is a long, gruelling marathon.
When you mentor someone, you don’t assemble a flat-pack television cabinet. You grow an oak tree.
An oak tree takes decades to reach its full height. You can’t force it to grow faster by screaming at it. You can’t speed up the process by pouring a year’s worth of water on it in a single day. You simply feed the soil, protect the sapling, and wait. You trust the slow, silent work of God beneath the earth.
We must escape the microwave trap. We must trade our love of speed for God’s love of depth.
The Way of the Master
Jesus understood the nature of the marathon.
Think about the men He chose as His disciples. They didn’t arrive as polished spiritual giants. Jesus chose rough fishermen, despised tax collectors, and political zealots. They stood slow to understand, quick to argue, and prone to massive failures of faith.
Jesus spent three years with these men. He walked dusty roads with them. He shared meals with them. He answered their silly questions. He corrected their selfish ambitions.
Look at Simon Peter.
One day, Peter declared that Jesus was the Christ, the Son of the Living God. Jesus praised him for this revelation. Minutes later, Peter tried to stop Jesus from going to the cross. Jesus looked at His top disciple and rebuked him. He told Peter that he didn’t have the things of God in mind.
Peter acted on impulse. He spoke first and thought later. He promised to die for Jesus, yet he denied even knowing Him three times on the night of the crucifixion.
If Jesus used our modern, corporate metrics for success, He would have dismissed Peter long before the crucifixion. He would have searched for a more reliable candidate. He would have looked for someone with a better track record and a more stable personality.
Jesus didn’t do that. He saw the rock beneath the shifting sand.
After His resurrection, Jesus didn’t write Peter off. He met Peter on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. He didn’t lecture him about his failure. He didn’t make Peter sign a code of conduct before resuming his ministry.
Jesus asked Peter one simple question three times: “Do you love me?” (John 21:15-17).
With each answer, Jesus gave Peter a command to feed and care for His sheep.
This shows relational patience in action. Jesus walked with Peter through his deepest shame. He restored him with gentleness. He knew that Peter’s ultimate transformation required time, grace, and the power of the Holy Spirit.
A few weeks later, Peter stood before thousands of people on the day of Pentecost. He preached with such power that three thousand people surrendered their lives to Christ. The impulsive fisherman became the pillar of the early church.
That transformation didn’t happen overnight. It grew as the fruit of three years of patient, daily mentoring by the Son of God.
The Supernatural Fuel
We can’t mentor people with this level of patience on our own strength. Our human reserves of patience run dry quickly. We run out of steam when people let us down for the tenth time. We get annoyed when our advice goes unheeded.
We need a different source of power. We need the Holy Spirit.
The Bible describes patience as a fruit of the Spirit, not a mental trick or a self-help technique (Galatians 5:22).
When the Holy Spirit fills our lives, He changes our perspective. He allows us to see people through His eyes.
The Holy Spirit acts as the ultimate mentor. He shows incredible patience with us. He doesn’t abandon us when we slip back into old patterns of thinking. He doesn’t pack His bags and leave when we doubt God’s goodness. He stays. He convicts us with gentleness. He guides us into truth step by step.
We must show this same long-suffering love to the people we mentor.
The Apostle Paul understood this supernatural dynamic. He prayed for the Colossian church, asking that God would strengthen them with His glorious power so they could have all the endurance and patience they needed (Colossians 1:11).
Notice the connection Paul makes. We need God’s glorious power. We don’t need power to perform spectacular miracles or gain public fame. We need power to have endurance and patience.
It takes immense spiritual power to stay in the room with a hurting, broken person. It takes the power of the Holy Spirit to listen to the same struggle week after week without checking your watch.
The Spirit also gives us prophetic insight as we mentor.
Prophecy does not just predict the future. It speaks the heart and mind of God into a specific situation.
When you sit with someone who struggles, ask the Holy Spirit for His perspective. Ask Him to show you what He builds in their life.
The Holy Spirit often shows a picture of who that person will become in five or ten years. He reveals the gifts, character, and strength that He forms deep within them.
Once you see that future reality, your present frustration melts away. You realise that the current mess represents a construction site. You don’t judge a house by its scaffolding. You look at the blueprint and keep building.
Slowing Down the Pace
How do we practically run this marathon? How do we live out this relational patience on a rainy Tuesday evening as John did with Liam?
First, we must change our definition of success.
We must stop measuring our mentoring by how quickly people change. Instead, we must measure our mentoring by our own faithfulness to walk with them.
Your job doesn’t involve fixing people. You don’t possess the power to change a human heart. Only the Holy Spirit holds that power.
Your job requires you to stay present. You must show up, love them, pray with them, and point them to Jesus.
Second, we must learn the art of active listening.
In our fast-paced world, we rarely listen to understand. We listen to reply. We wait for the other person to finish speaking so we can deliver our pre-packaged advice.
When you mentor someone, slow down. Ask open questions.
“What is really happening in your heart right now?”
“How does your relationship with God affect this situation?”
Listen to their answers. Listen to the silence between their words. Allow them to express their doubts, their fears, and their anger without interrupting them.
Jesus often asked questions to help people discover the truth themselves. He didn’t shout answers at them from a distance. He walked beside them and guided their thoughts.
Third, we must celebrate the small victories.
When you train for a marathon, you don’t wait until you cross the final finish line to celebrate. You celebrate when you run your first mile without stopping. You celebrate when you shave thirty seconds off your personal best.
We must do the same in discipleship.
If the person you mentor struggled with anger every day last month, but this week they managed to stay calm during one difficult conversation, celebrate that milestone.
Tell them you see the Holy Spirit working in them. Tell them you noticed how they responded with grace. Tell them you feel proud of their growth.
These small words of encouragement act like cool water to a tired runner. They give them the strength to take the next step.
Fourth, we must embrace the power of presence.
Sometimes, the most spiritual action you can take for someone involves simply being there. You don’t need all the answers. You don’t need to explain why tragedy struck or why their prayer seems unanswered.
Job’s friends did their best work when they sat with him in the dust for seven days in silence. They failed only when they opened their mouths and tried to explain his suffering.
When people go through deep valleys, they don’t need theology lectures. They need your presence. They need to know that they don’t walk alone in the dark.
By staying with them, you show them a tangible picture of God’s love. You show them that God doesn’t abandon them in their mess.
The View from the Finish Line
Six months after that rainy evening in that café in town, John sat in the same spot with Liam.
The rain still licked the window, but the atmosphere at their table felt completely different. Liam sat with his shoulders back. His eyes shone with bright energy.
He still struggled with some things. He hadn’t achieved perfection. Yet, he had survived the winter. He had taken ground.
He looked at John and thanked him for not giving up on him when he wanted to give up on himself.
In that moment, the months of slow conversations, the repeated advice, and the quiet prayers felt incredibly small compared to the joy of seeing his growth. John looked at a man who learnt to walk with God.
This is the reward of the marathon.
When we invest our lives in others for the long haul, we witness the slow miracle of resurrection life. We see the Holy Spirit pick up shattered pieces and rebuild them into a beautiful temple. We see fear replaced with courage, and shame replaced with glory.
This work requires everything we have. It requires our time, our energy, and our patience.
It’s worth every single second.
Your Step Today
Who has God placed in your life right now?
Perhaps He has placed a young believer who keeps making the same mistakes. Perhaps you know a friend who walks through a long season of grief or doubt. Perhaps you have a family member who seems completely closed to the gospel.
You feel the temptation to pull back. You feel the urge to direct your energy elsewhere.
Choose differently today.
Don’t give up on them. Don’t rush their progress.
Commit to the marathon.
Reach out to that person this week. Invite them for a cup of coffee or a walk in the park. Don’t go with an agenda to fix them. Go with a heart to love them.
Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with His supernatural patience. Ask Him to show you the beauty of what He builds in their lives.
Take a deep breath, step onto the track, and run the long haul with them. As you patiently walk with others, the Holy Spirit will do a deep, patient work of transformation in you, too.
